If you’re a manager of people in their 40s, 50s, and 60, I want to suggest that you add awareness about support for elder care and parental loss into your toolkit for supporting your team. I know I needed to develop awareness as part of my own toolkit as an academic Department Chair, and I am not alone. And it's worth noting that people of any age may be caring for people with special needs, whether they are elders or not.
In a previous post focused on the caregiving work of parents, I emphasized a few things that hold for allies of all caregivers, such as:
Take an interest in your co-workers as whole human beings with lives. Ask about their situation and their loved ones.
Elevate the professionalism of caregivers, reminding them of the value they bring even as they are likely feeling stress about both work and home
Create space for conversations about caregiving, including Employee Resource Groups
Learn about your workplace policies so you can be a resource to others.
Consider what community care is or could look like for your unit, team, or your whole organization. I’ll return to this last point in a moment.
For elder care specifically, there are additional considerations, including:
the grief and loss often involved in caring for elders when their health declines or when their lives end
the instability of many health situations for elders, including sudden hospitalizations or transitions to rehabilitation facilities in nursing homes
the reality of sandwich-generation issues for many, because, according to a Univ. of Michigan study: almost a fourth of adults who are caregivers for at least one parent over age 65 also care for a child under age 18.
the mental load of managing complex systems for elders who need that assistance, such as Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security
But also...
The desire of many people to spend what I think of as “slow time” with our elders while they are still with us, forging deeper connections, sharing memories, just being together at a life stage that can feel fleeting and fraught with feelings that are quite different from the feelings and activities associated with watching children grow.
For all of these reasons, one of the most important benefits for employees doing elder care is a flexible schedule.
What else can be done?
Communication matters: create touchpoints. If someone on your team if facing a shift in their elder care situation (a new diagnosis, a care team transition, a logistical or emotional shift), plan to check in with them regularly to assess how you might be of assistance, while respecting their privacy and possible preference for less communication.
Know the policy resources available, especially FMLA. If your organization doesn’t offer training on this for managers, you might not know that FMLA can often be taken in a flexible way. Examples:
I took FMLA just for Tuesday and Thursday mornings when my son was born.
At his workplace, my husband has arranged a standing approval for time off for emergent situations (e.g. a fall, a hospitalization, etc.) related to the ongoing care of his mother.
Some organizations have short-term part-time policies available for situations associated with an FMLA leave.
Direct people to external resources. Encourage your organization to make resources easily accessible to those doing elder care, or caring with anyone with disabilities or special needs, for that matter. Examples:
Resources for estate planning
Local resources for caregiver support
Keep engaging people in the work. When we’re struggling with shifting family challenges, having an arena of life where we can exercise some more clear-cut self-efficacy can be so valuable. Work with your team member to help them stay connected to the work that matters most to them and that can help them continue to contribute.
Create a culture of community care.
In some ways, what’s more important than any policy or logistical support is the building of a culture of community care.
All the helpful policies in the world will have minimal impact on people’s stress levels and ability to contribute at work, if people don’t feel safe taking them for fear of resentment from others or even job loss. When someone needs support, a well-functioning team will pitch in, and be stronger for it.
Build your team around the opportunity to pitch in:
Work with people on your team to: help cover some of your co-worker’s work
Provide assistance with transitions back into projects and duties for people returning from any amount of leave
Offer encouragement and support, especially validating their need for some time and space.
Want to expand your managerial toolkit? Contact me about training for your organization to support and empower caregivers of all kinds.
Comments